Poem a day, Day 3

Today’s challenge was Haiku. The definition of Haiku put forward was:

"1. It’s a 3-line poem.

2. While many think the lines should be 5-7-5 syllables, that’s actually not true. It’s 5-7-5 "sounds" if you’re writing in Japanese. For English purposes, it tends to be a shorter 1st and 3rd line--with a slightly longer 2nd line.

3. The haiku describes nature--with an emphasis on description. Haiku do not rhyme or use metaphors and/or similes.

4. Haiku includes a word to indicate season. For instance, the word "frog" might indicate spring; the word "snow" might indicate winter.

5. There’s also usually a juxtaposition of two sensory images. For instance, the most famous haiku involves a frog jumping into a pond as the first sensory image--the water’s sound as the second. When put together, the sensory images turn a very simple moment into a profound poem."

So here are two attempts:



Bird chirping loudly

Standing on wooden feeder

No one must cross him




Feline begging for food

Too occupied to serve him

I’ll pay for that



I wrote these this morning as soon as I got home from work. What do you think, brilliant or the ravings of an exhausted madman?


-Justin